Overcoming Workplace Bullying: Empower Yourself

I've had a couple of prompts over the past few weeks about bosses who were unreasonable and extremely difficult to work with. Both were clear examples of workplace bullying, with leaders who use their own particular style to undermine confidence and ensure they aren’t questioned or challenged.

It triggered some thoughts for me too. I worked for a few bullies in the earlier years of my corporate career and still remember how they made me feel. With one in particular, I didn’t immediately realise that I was being bullied. It became clearer only with the benefit of hindsight and reflection. I tend to see the best in other people and was far too willing to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding their management style. I also remember questioning whether I was the problem. This was probably heightened by being told it was my issue when I tried to raise some points about their management style!

Interestingly, it’s more likely for a high performer to be bullied than to be a bully. Bullies often hide their insecurities and leadership inadequacies behind their actions.

Signs of Workplace Bullying

So, what do you do if you are being bullied? Here are six things that hopefully will help you:

1. See the Signs

   If things feel off, they probably are. You may find yourself blaming yourself. Recognise when conflict has moved from ‘unpleasant’ to ‘bullying’.

   
   

2. Document Everything

   Start a paper trail that fully records your experience.

3. Keep a private log: Record dates, times, locations, and exactly what was said or done.

4. Save the evidence: Keep emails or screenshots.

5. Note witnesses: If a colleague saw the interaction, jot down their name.

7. Store it externally: Do not keep this log on your work computer or company cloud. Use a personal notebook or a private notes app.




8. Acknowledge and Set Firm Neutral Boundaries

9. Call it out in real-time: "That tone isn't helpful for this meeting. Let’s stick to the facts."

10. End the interaction: If they become abusive, say: "I’m happy to discuss this when we can speak professionally. I’m going back to my desk now."

12. Use "I" statements: "I find it difficult to focus when I'm interrupted. Please let me finish my point."




13. Pivot to Written Communication

    If the bully tends to "forget" agreements or gaslights you about verbal conversations, stop talking and start typing.

14. Follow up via email: "Per our conversation just now, I will be handling Task A while you take Task B. Please let me know if your understanding is different."

16. CC relevant parties: When appropriate, include a manager or teammate on email to ensure transparency and accountability.




17. Know When to Escalate

    You don’t have to be a martyr.

18. Check the Handbook: See what your company’s specific policy is on harassment or conduct.

19. Talk to your Manager: (Unless they are the bully). Present your documentation and frame it as a performance issue: "This behavior is making it difficult for me to complete my work effectively."

21. HR is for Compliance: Remember that HR is there to protect the company. If the bully’s behavior creates a hostile work environment or violates employment laws, HR is more likely to intervene to mitigate risk.




22. Prioritise Your Exit Strategy

    Sometimes, the culture of a company protects the bully rather than the victim. If you’ve reported the behaviour and nothing changes—or if you’re being retaliated against—it’s not a failure to leave.

    Pro Tip: Don't wait until you're at your breaking point to update your resume. Start looking while you still have the energy to interview well.

    
    

Seeking Support

If you would like support dealing with a workplace bully, book a discovery call and let's talk. Remember, you deserve to work in an environment that respects and values you. Don't hesitate to take the steps necessary to protect your well-being and career.